Project Runway is BAAAAACK!

If you didn't already know, my mom auditioned for Project Runway a few seasons back.  Obviously you'd already know if she won, so I can spoil this for you: she didn't win :(.  But we're not bitter!  Project Runway is our favorite TV show by far.  It has simply everything: drama, competition, and Tim Gunn.  I love it so much that I just can't help posting about it.

Season 14 is going to be amazing!  I had to post about the first challenge today so that we'll be all caught up for the new one tonight.  It's on every Thursday at 9 on Lifetime.

Episode 1 - They all have to run to get material inside Madison Square Garden.  Wah wah...it's from Mood, so whatever.  Tim and Heidi say that they have the best talent of all the seasons assembled, but it's pretty clear from Tim's critiques (and previews of his future swearing) that they're just not.  Everyone makes clothes, most everybody shares their kits and extra fabrics with everyone else, Thor goes home.  Heidi makes no comment on the bust area of his ill-fitting garment, which is shocking.  Otherwise, the most exciting thing is the look ahead: cool challenges including an all-paper garment and "dumpster diving" Project Runway style.  Can't wait!!!

This episode was mostly us getting to know the cast.  The Project Runway Season 14 cast includes:

Ashley Neil Tipton - soon to be known as Queen Frostine for her sweetness and purple pomp.  She refers to herself as funky, fun, and fat. We can expect some fierce fashion and most likely a lot of tears from her this season.  Notes:  she's already in my picks for Fashion Week.  She can already knock it out of the park with her answer to "Why should YOU win Project Runway?" because she makes gorgeous looks for plus size women.

Amanda Perna - AKA Amanda Returna.  We got to see her kicked off before the season even started last year.  She's back and she's high strung, but determined to be a good sport.

Blake Patterson - a cocky, cute guy who says he designs for socialites.  He seems to be a less bitchy Christian Siriano with his voluminous looks.  We could expect a really show-stopping line if he makes it to Fashion Week.

Candice Cuoco - Big Mouth as I like to call her.  Why does she love to draw attention to the gap in her teeth and the fact that she "incubated" two kids?  I don't know.  Not sure what to expect from Cuoco Loco.

David Giampiccolo - a picky 'piccolo who didn't stand out all that much this time, except for Merline paying attention to him..."Daveeeed!"

Duncan Chambers-Watson - a Thor lookalike from New Zealand.  Who tells the judges on the first challenge that they're still trying to figure out their point of view for their brand?  Ain't gonna go far.

Edmond Newton - Mr. Trying Too Hard.  He was in the top for his suuuuper basic LBD, but Tim already questioned his craftsmanship and vision.  Ain't gonna go far.  Trying Too Hard because he tried out for not one, not two, but ALL of the previous seasons.  Sometimes perseverance isn't everything, Tenacious E.

Gabriella Arruda - a classic overachiever who became an artist.  She is probably talented, but she wasn't memorable this week.

Hanmiao Yang - calls herself Pistachio, Happy Nut.  Definitely going to clash with other designers, but in a meek, tearful way.

Jake Wall - the Artful Dodger, after his clothing line the Artful Gentleman.  He's gonna have to figure out a way to stand out and stand up separately from the Artful Gentleman if he's gonna win.

Joseph Charles Poli - a self-proclaimed Virgo.  I don't know why that says it all, but it does.

Kelly Dempsey - White Trash.  Nice white trash, but still White Trash.  No way she can win.  Sorry, honey.

Laurie Underwood - the only person who called out Merline to her face for being annoying.  She's my dark horse for Fashion Week.  Don't count her out, people!

Lindsey Creel - Taylor Swift.  Nuff said.  She's probably good, but she didn't show it on this challenge.

Merline Labissiere - SO ANNOYING.  Claims she has a background in architecture, but it sure ain't a college degree.  So far she's been racist and she called muslin Muslim.  Annoying and an idiot.  Sparks will fly.

Swapnil Shinde - the Alec Baldwin of the show.  Attractive and polarizing as H-e-double hockey sticks.  He is good, but he, Merline, and someone else didn't bring sewing kits.  And you can just tell that if he is in the bottom on a group challenge, he's gonna be throwing people under the bus.